It’s been awhile since Erma demanded attention, but she’s been stomping around a lot lately, so I had to have a chat wit her.
And the best part? Now she wears a crown!
I blame the Junk Gypsies. As I recently gushed, I found their site & love pretty much all of it. If I could, I’d do a road trip to Round Top to visit their store, but alas, I’d never be able to afford renting the truck I’d need to haul home all the stuff I’d buy (sadly my sporty car would NOT hold everything!). Of all their stuff I plan to buy on the website, I’m starting with the crown items (like the crown charm, which is winging its way to me right now). And I’ve decided to start collecting crowns/crown images/crown-themed items, and will be selling more crown-motif items in my graphics shop soon. Because one can never have too many crowns.
Ok, I already have one:
But I need more. (That one came from the fabulous Cupid’s Charm a few years ago.)
I want to put little crowns all over…even on the Korknisse (pics of that to come eventually…the Korknisse are loving it).
I’m drawing the line at putting a crown on my kitty. Because honestly, if I tried, Bassie would make me regret it and pay in blood (she doesn’t need a crown, you see, as she’s regal by virtue of being Bassie).
But I CAN do it in Photoshop, though:
So what does all of this have to do with Erma & the Klatch? Well, the more I got into the whole crown motif, the more I started idly wondering why I liked them so much. And then suddenly, SWISH, TICKLE. Swish, tickle.
(For background on the swishing & tickling, see this post.)
And a couple of stomps.
It was Erma, wanting to have a chat. It’s been ages since we’ve visited, and she’s been growing restless back there in the back of my mind.
So I paused, made coffee, and called her forward.
She showed up wearing the crown, and I just smiled.
“So, why do I have a thing for crowns right now?” I asked her, without preamble.
“That’s an easy one,” she replied, sipping coffee. “You need more self-pampering and queen-ness in your life.”
I frowned. “Me? No I don’t!”
She smiled a knowing elephant smile (because they always smile knowingly, have you noticed?). “When you started your working-at-home ventures, and had to be on this tight budget, what’s the first things you cut? What are the things you still cut now, even when you don’t need to, at least not so much?”
I suddenly felt sheepish. “Oh.”
“Oh, indeed,” she said, holding out her mug for more.
She’d nailed me. What had I cut out of my life? Every bit of personal pampering & fun stuff & extras & whatnot. As in buying the cheapest body wash & shampoo, giving up scented lotions, no perfumes or body sprays, no scented candles (other than what I still have in a stash), no going out to eat, no clothes or shoe shopping (except when I simply desperately needed something & then I just got the cheapest I could live with), no jewelry or makeup, no magazines, etc.
I suppose it sounds harsh, but honestly, when you start working for yourself or for any reason need to be on a specific budget, cutting all those “extras” is one of the first things you do. I didn’t “need” any of them (I have too many clothes/shoes/jewelry/perfumes/etc already), and my focus was on bringing in enough income to cover bills. I was happy to be starting my ventures & didn’t feel like I was denying myself, I simply was buckling in to do what I needed to get stuff launched & going.
However, after two years, I no longer need to be so strict with myself. It’s time to loosen up a bit, relax a bit, enjoy a bit more. Buy some pampering stuff just because. I’ve actually started to do this a tiny bit, here & there & only occasionally, like have lunch out with a friend, buy an inexpensive shirt, buy some magazines. But every time I do it, I’m pretty hard on myself. I feel like someone is going to swoop out of the sky & smack the item out of my hands then spank me & send me to bed without dinner for daring to buy stuff “just because” and just for me. Because there are bills to pay & debts to pay & you-might-need-that-money-for-something-else’s to consider.
Which when I think about it now, is slightly (ahem) ridiculous. There will always be bills & debts & other things I “could” use money for. But *I* am the reason all this is working, and the person making it all work deserves some “little jollies,” to quote a favorite TV show (As Time Goes By). I’m the queen here. The queen needs to celebrate her queen-ness more often.
And thus the crowns. A symbol for reclaiming my queen-ness, for reminding myself that I matter & because I matter, I can give myself more treats…and not feel guilty about them. I can wear my crown.
Now I grin widely while pouring more coffee, and I thank Erma. She nods wisely.
“So,” she says, “Does that mean I can come visit regularly again?”
I simply raise my mug to her. “To the return of the Elephant Coffee Klatch!”
She clinks mugs with me, and suddenly, I’m wearing a crown.
(The Klatch will happen each month, but I’m not sure which day yet…I’ll see how this plays out & check with Erma & let you know. ;) )