A few days ago, my Traveling Edward* arrived. I open the package, unwrap it, and find:
And I think maybe, just maybe, I hear grumblings coming from inside it. Long trip and all that. But hey, he’s a vampire, who cares about being cooped up in a coffin-like package for a long time? Apparently he did.
So without further ado, I opened him.
No wonder he was grumbling! He’s got a piece of plastic coming out of his butt! I’d grumble too. That can’t be comfy.
Bast tried to help remove it:
Then Eddie really got testy! He snatched the plastic away and tried to figure out what he could do with it:
All of his suggestions involved S&M scenarios. I took it away.
I then tried to go back to work, but he had to keep goofing off:
“I’m a zombie! Arrrgggghhhh!”
“Yo. You. My hands ain’t shaped like this for nuthin’. Fill ‘er up.”
So off I went to find a Traveling Edward-sized martini glass. No luck so far. What a grumpy vamp I’ve got here.
Thus began Edward’s Travels in Tampa.
So far, he found a toy at the thrift store:
Investigated a cute little stuffed bear:
“Dude. That’s some sparkle.”
Got silly in the kitchen:
“I’m king of the cream(er)!”
Went on a road trip:
“Are we there yet? Can you hear me now?”
Played with his food:
And almost ended up a meal:
Oh, Edward. You scampy vamp, you.
*A “Traveling Edward” is an Edward doll from Twilight who has his picture taken in random places, in the silliest ways possible, for no other reason than to make one laugh hysterically at the absurdity of it.